Notes from a Scoundrel
I don't know how these work, but I guess ask me questions and try to get stuff on my tumblr.
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Grant
I can’t think of a pun that says, “I would go gay for Cary Grant,” so this sentence will have to do.
(via coloredmondays)
plasticcities asked: If tink was a real woman today, based on her proportions, she'd be Coco, Ice-T's wife.
I really don’t have a problem with that. If Coco has that wonderful attitude, prankster personality, and sauciness, Ice T has some new competition.
Jim Gaffigan


Freddy looks exactly like my best friends dad. His mom looks like P Swaze from Tu Wong Fu.
(Source: walkingencyclopediaofweirdness, via rothsteins)
Charles Bukowski (via materialistic-lust)

(Source: breakfromlife777, via herzvonherz-deactivated20111217)

I read a lot of things I don’t have to, but I’ll probably end up the back of a box of fruity pebbles.

(via coloredmondays)
and it took the bank two days of violent spending, on the part of my hijacker, to notice. After that my accounts were frozen for weeks, investigations were drawn out in spite of the bank telling me how obvious a fraud this was, and I got my money back, but wasn’t reimbursed for all the things I had to do to get by when every dollar I owned was frozen and I was left accumulating late charges on the many services I use and also had nights of hunger. On top of all this, I had DAILY two hour meetings with the bank for the last week of the ordeal. All of which wen’t relatively poorly since the crafty son-of-a-bitch changed the address name and telephone on my account, but kept my social security number.
Today, I tried to sign into tumblr and got a message that there was ONE suspicious action on my account and I needed to reset my password. Tumblr, you got my back. If you were a bank, I’d get into bed with you.